Loneliness or Reflective Solitude: an experiment in Richmond
I've been spending a lot of time alone lately. When you're spending the summer holidays in a town almost solely inhabited by students, you have to get used to the silence of an empty castle (I'm temporarily living in Royal Holloway's beautiful Founders Building) and shopping/eating by yourself. So, in the name of blogging research and an excuse to write something other than my dissertation, I decided to spend a rare day off from work completely alone in one of my favourite towns.
A small section of the view from my room in Founders, RHUL.
Other than an urge to visit Richmond for some retail therapy on a day when my friends in the area were working or rehearsing, my main reason for this experiment was my recent musings on the idea of travelling alone. I've been tempted for a few months to book a holiday just for myself, but after watching the slightly disturbing Sean Penn film 'Into the Wild' I questioned just how much fun it would be to see new places and experience new things without anyone to share it with. I know you're dying to hear how my day went, so here are my (extremely scientific) findings.
1. Shopping is (nearly) always best done alone.
Despite the Wildchild stereotype of running round charity shops having a great time trying on wacky outfits with your girlfriends in the form of a video montage, serious shoppers know that if you mean business and want to find what you really need, you have to ditch the friends and shop solo. More focus, less distraction from nattering about boys and no one to convince you that 'you look so hot!' in something that you know doesn't suit you and isn't worth the money.
2. Sit in one place for long enough and someone will talk to you.
I was a sceptic on this one, but the romcoms are actually right for once. I had a lot of time to kill before my 8.30pm cinema showing and ended up sitting by the river listening to a busker. Within half an hour a blonde guy with a shiny bicycle asked me for a lighter. I didn't have one, but if I had, it could have been the start of a beautiful friendship. After another wander through the town I sat on a Richmond Green to do some reading for my degree (a rare occasion). And again, after around an hour of reading and sunbathing a really lovely guy started chatting to me about how much he likes Thomas Hardy - and he wasn't even pretending to like him because that's what I was reading, he knew more about my book than I did - and he left with my number. Unfortunately he lives in Cardiff but this officially proved that after all my years of watching 'You've Got Mail' and '500 Days of Summer', there is still hope for those of us waiting in a coffee shop with a book hoping an attractive male will strike up a conversation about it.
3. Take a book.
Not just for the tube. See above. Stops you from looking like you're being stood up; gives you a purpose for sitting doing nothing on your own.
Sunset by the river in Richmond.
4. Eating alone is not as bad as it sounds.
This one really took some balls. I have never, ever walked into a restaurant and said the dreaded words, 'table for one please,' before, but in the name of science and the blogosphere, I made the leap. I chose Pizza Express because I know the menu inside out and wouldn't have to worry about the unfamiliarity of a confusing menu or different ordering system, like the first time you go to Nandos or GBK. The waiters were immediately lovely to me when I said I was eating alone, and didn't question it at all, which made me feel great and actually a little superior to the other diners with their noisy kids or friends. Ordering was much easier than usual without the distraction of pre-dinner chatter; I could focus on the menu and on what I actually felt like eating, but within a few minutes of sitting in silence I was feeling awkward, the other diners were giving me inquisitive stares and I found myself texting my friend to come and meet me for the cinema afterwards. Luckily for my blogging integrity she declined and I persevered, getting out my notebook so it looked like I had a purpose (this is the key to surviving solitude: reading a book, writing or sketching something makes you look a lot less lonely). I'm not sure if the waiters were so nice to me because they thought I was reviewing them or because I was on my own but regardless, I have never had such attentive service and I appreciated my food so much more because I could fully concentrate on the flavours and enjoy it without having to make conversation. It helped that my meal was divine; I had a 'Hugo' cocktail (prosecco, elderflower, lemon and mint), the new Emilia pizza which is goats cheese and mozzarella on a thin base with mushrooms, rocket, garlic oil and truffle oil, followed by cheesecake and Teapigs earl grey tea. As much as I was initially uncomfortable, I would definitely eat alone again and would recommend it to anyone who loves food as much as I do!
Pizza Express Emilia pizza.
'Hugo' Pizza Express.
I finished the day watching 'Begin Again', the new film starring Keira Knightley, who I idolise, and Mark Ruffalo, who I also adore, at the Odeon Richmond, one of the quirkiest cinemas around. The guy who sold me my ticket didn't seem at all surprised that I was watching on my own, and when I went into the screen I noticed two other women who were alone as well. Unlike the restaurant, it was much easier to melt into the dark and not feel judged in the cinema, because when it comes down to it everyone is there to watch the screen, not to look around to see who's sitting with who. While I'm writing, a quick review for you: 'Begin Again' is quite possibly one of the best music-based films I have seen in a long time, and the romantic element isn't cheesy or clichéd in any way. The music is well written, Adam Levine makes a surprisingly self-mocking and not annoying acting debut, Ruffalo doesn't disappoint and Knightley makes an unusual modern heroine as a change to her usual period dramas. Even James Corden was genuinely funny. Go and see it, take your other half if you have one (it's not a particularly girly film), or go alone like I did. Refreshing and profound.
Richmond.
I have always envied those elegant women who sit in or outside restaurants on their own enjoying a quiet moment or making phonecalls with a glass of wine, and I now feel that I can join their ranks when the mood takes me. However, there is a hitch to all this. It's all very well being in your own company for a day, but I strongly feel that spending any more time than that alone would become boring and quite frankly a little depressing. What's the point in having fun if you haven't got anyone to share it with? I travel alone a lot around London or up and down the country to go to/from home, but really there's nothing better than having someone to meet you at the station.
Enjoy your own company or hate being alone? Let me know in the comments section what you think!
